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From the "DOGGY DICTIONARY"
LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead
your person where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the
guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your
nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale
deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.
GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to
test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push
the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with
margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts
of bread.
DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want
them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly
at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans
remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to
warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling
your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old
candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the
papers all over the house.
BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls
and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are
drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.
LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without
restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail.
If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
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